Better Together: March 30, 2021

written by Nathan & Kelli

Better Together: a weekly newsletter with ideas on how to improve your marriage and how to live a happy and productive life.

The Couple Project

A marriage is supposed to be high maintenance, it’s about always being there for our partner, and knowing they will be there for us. A marriage is about truly learning who your partner is, and then using that knowledge to help them be better, reassure them, and soothe them.

“Wired for Love” - Book Review

Quotes from what we have been reading

“So this message, that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being, this is wisdom that's as old as the hills. Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore? Well, we're human. What we'd really like is a quick fix, something we can get that'll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they're complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it's not sexy or glamorous. It's also lifelong. It never ends. .... But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships, with family, with friends, with community.”

Robert Waldinger, "What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness"

“There is a benefit to you in yielding a bit, not being defensive, and being open to seeing that your partner has a valid perspective—even if you don’t share it. Think of it as looking for ways to say “yes,” even if that is a simple acknowledgment, such as, “I see your point.” For many, this can be a challenge, but you have to ask yourself: Do you want to be right or do you want to stay together?”

Sinead Smyth

“I didn’t want to reject my life. I wanted to change my life without changing my life, by finding more happiness in my own kitchen. I knew I wouldn’t discover happiness in a faraway place or in unusual circumstances; it was right here, right now… I am happy—but I’m not as happy as I should be. I have such a good life, I want to appreciate it more—and live up to it better.”

“The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin

Superhero Quote

“I choose to run toward my problems, and not away from them. Because that’s — because that’s what heroes do.”

Thor in Thor: Ragnarok

From Our Lives

Every couple of months we go away for the weekend. This time we drove about an hour from home, went shopping, ate out, and lazed around a hotel room half dressed while we wrote, read, talked, and made love. It was a lot of fun. It almost always is. Ever since we were first married 25 years ago we have always found the time and money to go out on regular dates, and over the last 5 years or so we have started to find the time and money to go on regular weekend getaways. Find time in your life to continue to keep your marriage alive. Continue to improve how well you know your spouse. Let them know how much you love them. Your future health and happiness depends on it! 😁

Now, go give your spouse a hug and tell them you love them!

Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.

ps. Next month, for “The Couple Project”, our focus is on improving sexual intimacy.

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The purpose of “The Couple Project” is to learn more about what makes a strong marriage or relationship. We share what we are learning, which ideas we are trying, and which ideas helped improve our relationship. We realize not everything that works for us will work for you, but we still hope you will find our journey valuable.

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