Better Together: We before Me, Less is More, and Pushing Through

written by Nathan & Kelli

Better Together: a weekly newsletter with ideas on how to improve your marriage and how to live a happy and productive life.

From Our Lives

We love burgers, but we have also been working on eating healthier. As a result, these days when we go out to a burger joint, we only get two burgers, one each. Sometimes though, Kelli will offer Nathan a few bites of hers. She knows he needs a bit more food then she does. She is putting our health first, even though she would love to eat the whole burger.

How do you look at your relationship? Is it about we or me? President John F. Kennedy was correct when he said, “Ask not what your country marriage can do for you but what you can do for your country marriage.”

“Our relationship is the most important thing in our lives.” This is the first guiding principle in our marriage, we’re not saying we are perfect at it, but we try. We try to be there for each other whenever needed.

“A great relationship is one which if you ask each person independently who benefits more from the relationship they would each say, ‘Well I do.’” ~ Farnam Street Podcast, Episode #110

We challenge you to ask the question, “Who am I serving in my marriage, me or we?”

The Couple Project

“When it comes to clothes there is an almost infinite number of options. As a result you will always be able to find something that might work slightly better than what you are currently wearing. You may have heard the phrase ‘the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.’ Constantly looking for what you might buy next actually makes you less satisfied with what you already have. This is also similar to the Diderot effect - ‘the introduction of a new possession into a consumer’s existence will often result in a process of spiraling consumption’. What is the solution? Stop looking.”

— This is from a previously published article: Why I Am Happier With Fewer Clothes

What We Have Been Reading

“So, for example, if you are my partner, and we’re in bed, and I can’t sleep because I’m anxious about the day, I can wake you up, and you will be there to help me without any feeling of resentment. Why? Because I must do the very same for you, if not in that situation, then in other circumstances when it likely will be inconvenient for me. That is our agreement. It is our assurance to one another that we aren’t alone, that we have a tether to one another.”

Wired for Love by Stan Tatkin

“Principles are fundamental truths that serve as the foundations for behavior that gets you what you want out of life. They can be applied again and again in similar situations to help you achieve your goals.”

Principles: Life and Work – Best Quotes by Backpack Finance

“When things are going well, everything seems easy, and you just have to keep doing the same thing. There isn’t a lot of learning there. But when things are hard, you have to face the difficulty if you want to keep going, if you want to avoid going to your usual pattern of discouraging yourself or quitting. The dip is where the most learning can be found.”

The Habit Dip by Leo Babauta

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Now, go give your spouse a hug and tell them you love them!

Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.

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The purpose of “The Couple Project” is to learn more about what makes a strong marriage or relationship. We share what we are learning, which ideas we are trying, and which ideas helped improve our relationship. We realize not everything that works for us will work for you, but we still hope you will find our journey valuable.

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