Better Together: Never Stop Caring.
Welcome to Better Together. The newsletter focused on showing you how amazing your marriage can be, and trying to help you get there. Each week we give you a brief glimpse into our lives and three potentially life-changing ideas to help you become a better partner. We hope that you will find this newsletter inspirational and practical.
We believe that “close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.” [1] We believe that by strengthening marriages, and families, we can improve the world at large.
We hope you will help us share this vision. Please consider sharing this newsletter with others via: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, or email.
1. the Grant Study, a 75-year-long Harvard research project on human development
From Our Lives
As I was thinking about what to write about this week, I came across a quote:
“Ambivalence is a leading cause of failed relationships.” — Dr. Stan Tatkin
This caused me to remember something else I was taught a couple of years ago. Hate isn’t the opposite of love. Ambivalence is the opposite of love.
When you hate something, you have to care about it enough to hate it.
When you are ambivalent, you have stopped caring at all.
Creating a great relationship is hard work. As a result you have to really care in order to consistently put in the work. Ambivalence will never get you there.
When your partner is having a bad day, can they rely on you to be there for them? Or will you be ambivalent?
When your partner is feeling frisky, can they rely on you to be sexy? Or will you be ambivalent?
When your partner is about to make a bad choice, can they rely on you to help them make a better choice? Or will you be ambivalent?
When your partner needs to talk, can they rely on you to listen? Or will you be ambivalent?
And can they rely on you to do the same for them?
Kelli and I realize we are both high maintenance partners. We all are. But we are also trying to always be there for each other. And we think that is the best kind of partner to be.
What We Have Been Reading
“I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the techniques of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential. When one learns to master the principles of setting a goal, he will then be able to make a great difference in the results he attains in this life.”
— M. Russell Ballard
“If we are sincere in wanting to learn the truth, and if we know how to use gentle speech and deep listening, we are much more likely to be able to hear others’ honest perceptions and feelings. In that process, we may discover that they too have wrong perceptions. After listening to them fully, we have an opportunity to help them correct their wrong perceptions. If we approach our hurts that way, we have the chance to turn our fear and anger into opportunities for deeper, more honest relationships.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh
“We all are learning, modifying, or destroying ideas all the time. Rapid destruction of your ideas when the time is right is one of the most valuable qualities you can acquire.
You must force yourself to consider arguments on the other side.”
— Charlie Munger
Call To Action
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Now, go give your spouse a hug and tell them you love them!
Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.
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