Better Together: Are You a Peacemaker?

Welcome to Better Together. The newsletter focused on showing you how amazing your marriage can be, and trying to help you get there. Each week we give you a brief glimpse into our lives and three potentially life-changing ideas to help you become a better partner. We hope that you will find this newsletter inspirational and practical.

We believe that “close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.” [1] We believe that by strengthening marriages, and families, we can improve the world at large.

We hope you will help us share this vision. Please consider sharing this newsletter with others via: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, or email.

1. the Grant Study, a 75-year-long Harvard research project on human development

From Our Lives

This week Nathan and I had a disagreement about something that had happened a few minutes earlier. Our memories of the event were completely different, but since it had only happened a few minutes earlier we were both completely convinced our memory of the event was the correct one.

As we were arguing he started softening his stance by saying things like, “well maybe you’re right”. I, on the other hand, was completely convinced he was wrong and I was right.

After we resolved the issue, I realized I hadn’t tried to be a peacemaker. During the argument I had wanted him to completely admit he was wrong before I would even start to budge.

In a marriage we both need to be willing to be the peacemaker.

If we are both trying to do all we can to make the marriage better, instead of “only doing as much as the other person”, things will go much smoother.

We have to stop waiting for the other person to fix things. We have to take the first step.

What We Have Been Reading

“It is inevitable if you enter into relations with people on a regular basis, either for conversation, dining or simple friendship, that you will grow to be like them, unless you can get them to emulate you. Place an extinguished piece of coal next to a live one, and either it will cause the other one to die out, or the live one will make the other reignite.”

— Epictetus

“We can rationalize all we want, but the fact is, there is not a right way to do the wrong thing!”

— Becky Craven

“Groundedness does not eliminate passion, productivity, or all forms of striving and ambition. Instead, it is about ditching an omnipresent and frantic anxiety to begin living in alignment with your innermost values, pursuing your interests, and expressing your authentic self in the here and now. When you are grounded there is no need to look up or down. You are where you are, and you hold true strength and power from that position. Your success, and the way in which you pursue it, becomes more enduring and robust. You gain the confidence to opt out of the consumer-driven rat-race that leaves you feeling like you are never enough.”

— Brad Stulberg

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Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.

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The purpose of “The Couple Project” is to learn more about what makes a strong marriage or relationship. We share what we are learning, which ideas we are trying, and which ideas helped improve our relationship. We realize not everything that works for us will work for you, but we still hope you will find our journey valuable.

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"A United Marriage: 5 Biblical Principles to Ponder"