Better Together: Learning from Arnold Schwarzenegger.

written by Nathan & Kelli

Welcome to Better Together. The only newsletter focused on showing you how amazing your marriage can be, and not afraid to tell you what it really takes to get there. Each week we give you a brief glimpse into our lives and three potentially life-changing ideas to help you become a better partner. We hope that you will find this newsletter inspirational and practical.

We believe that “close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.” [1] We believe that by strengthening marriages, and families, we can improve the world at large.

We hope you will help us share this vision. Please consider sharing this newsletter with others via: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, or email.

1. the Grant Study, a 75-year-long Harvard research project on human development

From Our Lives

We joined a gym!

This is something new for both of us. As you probably already know, we have successfully lost a lot of weight over the last year. Now we are excited to set new goals.

We are looking forward to developing our muscle strength and endurance. We want to be even healthier than we are currently. We want to be able to hike further than we can currently. We want to be able to have a full and active life.

We will be pushing our muscles and so there will be aches and pains. This means we need to make sure we have our thoughts in order and remember the end goal and not stop because of the challenge of the moment.

Last week as I was doing my workout a quote from Arnold Schwarzenegger came to my mind. “The last three or four reps is what makes the muscle grow. This area of pain divides the champion from someone else who is not a champion. That’s what most people lack, having the guts to go on and just say they’ll go through the pain no matter what happens.”

Similarly in marriage, that last bit of extra effort can make the difference that causes our marriage to grow and improve. Our goal is to always be willing to put in that extra effort, go that extra mile, for our spouse.

What We Have Been Reading

“Find a partner who is ready to build with you… Getting lost in the idea of perfection is a hindrance. Being with someone who is committed to going through the ups and downs of life together is truly priceless.

When two people embrace their imperfections and commit to growing into better versions of themselves, it will naturally enhance the happiness they share in the relationship.”

Yung Pueblo


“If we want to improve in any game—as well as in any aspect of our lives—we have to learn from the results of our decisions. The quality of our lives is the sum of decision quality plus luck.”

— “Thinking in Bets” by Annie Dukes


“The same way having a diversity of traits within a population is optimal (yet uncomfortable) in nature, and having a diversity of personalities/beliefs/backgrounds is optimal (yet uncomfortable) in society, I would argue that possessing a diversity of values, perspectives, and inclinations as an individual [or in a marriage] is optimal (yet uncomfortable) for our psychology…

The goal isn’t to quieten or relieve yourself of your internal discord, it’s to learn to live with it. It’s not to rid yourself of anxiety or second-guessing, but to become comfortable with it. It’s not to develop full confidence in everything you do, but to become confident in the fact that you probably don’t know what you’re doing.”

Mark Manson

Call To Action

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Now, go give your spouse a hug and tell them you love them!

Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.


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The purpose of “The Couple Project” is to learn more about what makes a strong marriage or relationship. We share what we are learning, which ideas we are trying, and which ideas helped improve our relationship. We realize not everything that works for us will work for you, but we still hope you will find our journey valuable.

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