Better Together: Junk Thoughts, Small Changes, Gratitude as a Cure.

Welcome to Better Together. The only newsletter focused on showing you how amazing your marriage can be, and not afraid to tell you what it really takes to get there. Each week we give you a brief glimpse into our lives and three potentially life-changing ideas to help you become a better partner. We hope that you will find this newsletter inspirational and practical.

We believe that “close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.” [1] We believe that by strengthening marriages, and families, we can improve the world at large.

We hope you will help us share this vision. Please consider sharing this newsletter with others via: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, or email.

1. the Grant Study, a 75-year-long Harvard research project on human development

From Our Lives

Each morning Kelli and I take a few moments to write down two things from yesterday we are grateful for.

First we write something that we are grateful to God for. That might be how nice the weather was, a positive chance encounter we had with someone, or simply a moment of peace that touched us.

Second we write down something about our spouse that we appreciated. That might be a nice hug they gave us, the paycheck they brought home, or something they did with, or for, the children.

We then share these thoughts of gratitude with each other.

We have been doing this for over a year and we would highly recommend this practice to you as well.

It takes effort. It isn’t always easy to find something to be grateful for.

We are learning to be specific. “I really appreciated the hug and how you told me you loved me when I got home from work yesterday.” Is much better than, “I love that you give me hugs.”

This practice has helped us be more aware of the good things in our lives. It helps us be less crushed when something negative happens.

Best of all it creates more shared moments in our lives, as we share these moments together each morning.

What We Have Been Reading

“So what are the principles that changed my life, repeatedly?

1. Start very small.
2. Do only one change at a time.
3. Be present and enjoy the activity (don’t focus on results).
4. Be grateful for every step you take.”

Leo Babauta

“In a healthy, trusting relationship couples feel seen, heard, and understood. Trusting one another can be deeply vulnerable and an opportunity to learn more about your partner's inner world. However, it’s also important to recognize that trusting your partner is not the same thing as giving up all control. You still have control over your emotions, choices, dreams, and how you communicate them with your partner. And when there is trust, you'll both feel empowered to express your needs.⁠”

The Gottman Institute

“Spend more time searching for better information sources.
A body filled with junk food struggles to move well.
A mind filled with junk thoughts struggles to think well."

James Clear

Call To Action

Please help us by filling out our anonymous survey!

Now, go give your spouse a hug and tell them you love them!

Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.

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The purpose of “The Couple Project” is to learn more about what makes a strong marriage or relationship. We share what we are learning, which ideas we are trying, and which ideas helped improve our relationship. We realize not everything that works for us will work for you, but we still hope you will find our journey valuable.

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