Better Together: Simpler Lives lead to Better Lives.

Welcome to Better Together. The only newsletter focused on showing you how amazing your marriage can be, and not afraid to tell you what it really takes to get there. Each week we give you a brief glimpse into our lives and three potentially life-changing ideas to help you become a better partner. We hope that you will find this newsletter inspirational and practical.

We believe that “close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.” [1] We believe that by strengthening marriages, and families, we can improve the world at large.

We hope you will help us share this vision. Please consider sharing this newsletter with others via: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, or email.

1. the Grant Study, a 75-year-long Harvard research project on human development

From Our Lives

Nathan and I have been working hard to improve our lives.

The interesting thing is that many of the best improvements have been made by removing things from our lives, not adding.

For example we simplified our meals, reduced the number of dishes in our kitchen, simplified our wardrobes, and minimized lots of other things around the house.

We add things to our lives because we feel like there is something missing. That we might be missing out on something. Maybe a fancy blender will make us better cooks, a bigger chopping board will make us better chefs, or a new dress will make us prettier.

Instead what we have found is that a sustainable lifestyle, a less busy lifestyle, allows you to really get in touch with yourself. It is tough at first, relaxing means you have to be okay with yourself. While if you are constantly running, you are always busy enough to ignore our own insecurities.

Simplifying our lives has allowed us to accomplish some big goals. We have each lost over 40lbs and sustained that weight loss. We have improved our marriage and learned to really listen to each other. And our house is much cleaner and better organized.

And we now have more time to spend with each other and with our children.

Take a few moments and look at what you can remove from your life. How can you make your life simpler and more sustainable?

What We Have Been Reading

“One of the biggest things holding people back from doing great work is the fear of making something lame. And this fear is not an irrational one. Many great projects go through a stage early on where they don't seem very impressive, even to their creators. You have to push through this stage to reach the great work that lies beyond. But many people don't. Most people don't even reach the stage of making something they're embarrassed by, let alone continue past it. They're too frightened even to start.”

Paul Graham

“We all have shame. We all have good and bad, dark and light, inside of us. But if we don’t come to terms with our shame, our struggles, we start believing that there’s something wrong with us—that we’re bad, flawed, not good enough—and even worse, we start acting on those beliefs. If we want to be fully engaged, to be connected, we have to be vulnerable. In order to be vulnerable, we need to develop resilience to shame.”

— “Daring Greatly” by Brene Brown

“When we think that something is going to bring us pleasure, we don’t know what’s really going to happen. When we think something is going to give us misery, we don’t know. Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all.”

— “When things Fall Apart” by Pema Chodron

Call To Action

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Now, go give your spouse a hug and tell them you love them!

Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.

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The purpose of “The Couple Project” is to learn more about what makes a strong marriage or relationship. We share what we are learning, which ideas we are trying, and which ideas helped improve our relationship. We realize not everything that works for us will work for you, but we still hope you will find our journey valuable.

Subscribe to our newsletter. It is full of ideas that will improve your marriage and your life. Ideas from experts, stories from our life, and links to our latest articles.