Better Together: Forgiveness is Required For a Brighter Future.
Welcome to Better Together. The only newsletter focused on showing you how amazing your marriage can be, and not afraid to tell you what it really takes to get there. Each week we give you a brief glimpse into our lives and three potentially life-changing ideas to help you become a better partner. We hope that you will find this newsletter inspirational and practical.
We believe that “close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.” [1] We believe that by strengthening marriages, and families, we can improve the world at large.
We hope you will help us share this vision. Please consider sharing this newsletter with others via: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, or email.
1. the Grant Study, a 75-year-long Harvard research project on human development
From Our Lives
Over the last 25 years together, we have built up a few regrets. Traumas of various sorts. A lie. An unkind word. A hurtful action. There are not many, but a few are still remembered years, or decades later.
Last week we sat down and wrote them out. We have started to discuss them. Why do these past events continue to cause pain? Why haven’t we moved on? We are trying to determine if there are still unresolved issues, or if forgiveness has been withheld.
We continue to believe that one of the most important traits in a marriage is forgiveness. The ability to, after an argument, forgive and move forward.
Forgiveness is not the same as ignoring a problem, true forgiveness only happens after resolution, restitution, and a change in behavior. But not all things can be resolved, nor can all things be restored, as a result, sometimes we have to simply forgive and move on.
Only forgiveness can allow a relationship to truly heal. Only forgiveness can allow a relationship to move forward. “Forgiveness does not change the past but it does enlarge the future.” And we are working towards a bright and full future.
What We Have Been Reading
“When apologizing, don’t explain yourself. The justification for your actions does not matter. What matters is that you fix the problem you caused. Replace your motivations or intentions with a specific apology for what you did and leave it at that. The more time you spend justifying your actions, the harder it will be for your partner to believe you truly understand how you hurt them.”
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.”
— Reinhold Niebuhr, “Serenity Prayer”
“Healthy striving is self-focused: How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused: What will people think?”
— Brene Brown, “Daring To Lead”
Call To Action
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Now, go give your spouse a hug and tell them you love them!
Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.
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