Better Together: Learning To Be Okay With Being Uncomfortable.

Welcome to Better Together. The only newsletter focused on showing you how amazing your marriage can be, and not afraid to tell you what it really takes to get there. Each week we give you a brief glimpse into our lives and three potentially life-changing ideas to help you become a better partner. We hope that you will find this newsletter inspirational and practical.

We believe that “close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.” [1] We believe that by strengthening marriages, and families, we can improve the world at large.

We hope you will help us share this vision. Please consider sharing this newsletter with others via: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, WhatsApp, or email.

1. the Grant Study, a 75-year-long Harvard research project on human development

From Our Lives

Last week Nathan had surgery and while I was sitting at home waiting to hear how the operation went I realized once again—I am an emotional eater. As I waited I could feel the urge to eat. I knew enough to know I wasn’t hungry, I had just eaten lunch. But that urge was there, over and over.

I’m happy to say I didn’t eat. I was able to recognize it for what it was, my brain was uncertain and uncomfortable and so it wanted an escape—food. The rest of the afternoon I continued to struggle with those feelings, but being able to recognize the urges for what they were, allowed me to be at peace with them. I was able to practice being comfortable with discomfort, being at peace with uncertainty.

We wish you the best in your relationships and hope this newsletter and our articles will help you in your journey.

What We Have Been Reading

“Your mind is a suggestion engine. Every thought you have is a suggestion, not an order. Sometimes your mind suggests that you are tired, that you should give up, or that you should take an easier path. But if you pause, you can discover new suggestions. For example, that you will feel good once the work is done or that you have the ability to finish things even when you don't feel like it.

Your thoughts are not orders. Merely suggestions. You have the power to choose which option to follow.”

— James Clear

“The biggest fear most of us have with learning to say NO is that we will miss an opportunity. An opportunity that would have catapulted us to success, or that will never come again. And most of the time, that simply isn’t true. I’ve found that the first part of learning to say NO is learning to accept that offers and opportunities are merely an indication that you’re on the right path—not that you’ve arrived at a final destination you can never find again.'”

Grace Bonney, “Saying No”

“Assuming positive intent does not mean that we stop helping people set goals or that we stop expecting people to grow and change. It’s a commitment to stop respecting and evaluating people based solely on what we think they should accomplish, and start respecting them for who they are and holding them accountable for what they’re actually doing.”

— Brene Brown, “Daring To Lead”

Call To Action

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Now, go give your spouse a hug and tell them you love them!

Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.

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The purpose of “The Couple Project” is to learn more about what makes a strong marriage or relationship. We share what we are learning, which ideas we are trying, and which ideas helped improve our relationship. We realize not everything that works for us will work for you, but we still hope you will find our journey valuable.

Subscribe to our newsletter. It is full of ideas that will improve your marriage and your life. Ideas from experts, stories from our life, and links to our latest articles.