Better Together: March 23, 2021

written by Nathan & Kelli

Better Together: a weekly newsletter with ideas on how to improve your marriage and how to live a happy and productive life.

The Couple Project

“In our marriage there is so much that needs to be done. We have children to raise, careers to progress, and many, many other responsibilities. If we are to have the time and energy to do all of these things we have to be able to completely trust each other to be loyal, reliable, follow previous agreements, keep confidences, and communicate when we are unsure or things change.”

The Guiding Principles for Our Relationship

Quotes from what we have been reading

“Partners who can simultaneously think about their own needs and desires as well as their partners are easily able to operate in mutuality. Too often one or both members find themselves unable to consider the other person’s perspective and become stuck.”

“Defining Healthy Dependence” by Vanessa Morgan

“People really persisted in their mistakes despite the fact that there was very clear feedback that was very quick and there was a lot of it … and it was painful because they were losing money … and yet they weren’t learning. That was the thing that really confused me.”

The Knowledge Project Podcast featuring Annie Duke

“Your marriage is not about you. Your marriage is about itself; it is a third reality to which and for which you are responsible, and only by honoring that responsibility will you get your childhood and current needs met. When you make your relationship primary and your needs secondary, you produce the paradoxical effect of getting your needs met in ways they can never be met if you make them primary.”

Harville Hendrix, “Wired For Love” by Stan Tatkin

Superhero Quote

“I’m with you ’til the end of the line.”

Captain America in Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier

From Our Lives

This week we had our roof re-done. It was getting a old, a little leaky, the shingles were losing their asphalt, moss was growing on it, and water would drip between the roof and the gutters. The roof needed some help. Two days later, after a lot of work and a little bit of noise, the roof looks beautiful again. This is the same with marriage. When something in your marriage has been neglected or is getting a little stale, a little bit of communication and a lot of hard work can get it back into great shape.

Now, go give your spouse a hug and tell them you love them!

Written and published by Nathan & Kelli.

ps. If you are looking for a new roof we now know someone we can highly recommend. 😊


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The purpose of “The Couple Project” is to learn more about what makes a strong marriage or relationship. We share what we are learning, which ideas we are trying, and which ideas helped improve our relationship. We realize not everything that works for us will work for you, but we still hope you will find our journey valuable.

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