“Dare To Lead” - Book Review

written by Nathan & Kelli

“Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.” by Brene Brown is a book we highly recommend.

This book is for leaders.

Plus, it shows that we can all be leaders, and so, this book is really for all of us.

And, even if you don’t want to be a leader, this book shows us how we can be more engaged in whatever work it is we want to accomplish.

This book outlines the value of being vulnerable, being willing to wrestle with the hard problems, and of being clearer with others. And it teaches us how to do these things.

To top it off, Brene Brown writes in a way that is easy and fun to read.

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We would highly recommend this book.

Here are our 10 favorite quotes from the book:

“The true underlying obstacle to brave leadership is how we respond to our fear. The real barrier to daring leadership is our armor—the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that we use to protect ourselves when we aren’t willing and able to rumble with vulnerability.”

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing. It’s having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.”

“The stealth intention is a self-protection need that lurks beneath the surface and often drives behavior outside our values. Closely related is the stealth expectation—a desire or expectation that exists outside our awareness and typically includes a dangerous combination of fear and magical thinking. Stealth expectations almost always lead to disappointment, resentment, and more fear.”

“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind… [m]ost of us avoid clarity because we tell ourselves that we’re being kind, when what we’re actually doing is being unkind and unfair. Feeding people half-truths or bullshit to make them feel better (which is almost always about making ourselves feel more comfortable) is unkind. Not getting clear with a colleague about your expectations because it feels too hard, yet holding them accountable or blaming them for not delivering is unkind. Talking about people rather than to them is unkind.”

“Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of blame, judgment, and shame.”

“Embodying and practicing gratitude changes everything. It is not a personal construct, it’s a human construct—a unifying part of our existence—and it’s the antidote to foreboding joy, plain and simple. It’s allowing yourself the pleasure of accomplishment, or love, or joy—of really feeling it, of basking in it—by conjuring up gratitude for the moment and for the opportunity.”

“We cannot practice empathy if we need to be knowers; if we can’t be learners, we cannot be empathic. And, to be clear (and kind), if we need to be knowers, empathy isn’t the only loss. Because curiosity is the key to rumbling with vulnerability, knowers struggle with all four of the building blocks of courage.”

“We judge in areas where we’re most susceptible to shame, and we judge people who are doing worse than we are in those areas. So if you find yourself feeling incredibly judgmental about appearance, and you can’t figure out why, that’s a clue that it’s a hard issue for you.”

“Assuming positive intent does not mean that we stop helping people set goals or that we stop expecting people to grow and change. It’s a commitment to stop respecting and evaluating people based solely on what we think they should accomplish, and start respecting them for who they are and holding them accountable for what they’re actually doing.”

“Asking for help is a power move. It’s a sign of strength to ask and a sign of strength to fight off judgment when other people raise their hands. It reflects a self-awareness that is an essential element in braving trust.”

“Pain is hard, and it’s easier to be angry or pissed off than to acknowledge hurt, so our ego intervenes and does the dirty work. The ego doesn’t own stories or want to write new endings; it denies emotion and hates curiosity. Instead, the ego uses stories as armor and alibi. The ego says ‘Feelings are for losers and weaklings.’ ”


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